My Personal story with Infertility

The infertility story in my life seems to be more insidious than the cancer story in that I think I’ve come to terms with it and then a trigger will start it all off again. For example, I’ve come to terms with my friends having children…I can see the hard work and commitment it requires and I’m not always jealous of them as I toddle off to my nice home with its walls scribble free and the peace and quiet.

And some of my friends are now becoming Grandparents, which is life’s way of showing me what’s left of my story of needing kids as I watch them having all the fun of grandchildren and none of the hassle of raising them. Where I go to with my thoughts about this is to a piece of paper and the the four questions of The Work of Byron Katie. The triggers come to show me what’s left.

Some of the things I did when going through the infertility story were

1. to make lists(get it all down on paper, really see what I was thinking). For example:
a) the things a child would give me...
eg a child will give me: fun, connection with others, happiness etc...
b) fears about  not having a child:
I will be lonely when Im old.
if my husband dies I’ll be on my own and put in a home and nobody will visit me.

So then I worked through the 4 questions of The Work of Byron Katie:
If I don’t have a child..I'll be lonely when I’m old
Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that's true?

2. Acceptance of the feelings that arise in me when I see someone with their child.

3. I also did The Work on statements such as: I don’t have it true? (I found that I work with kids and they’re mine for the time I’m with them)
And: I need a it true? Somebody once asked me what I need a baby for, which can also lead to a list as  above.

4. I listed the ways in which my life is better without kids.
I couldn't do that for ages. I found that a bit hard...probably because I thought if I started seeing that I'd give up the quest.
I hang on to these stressful thoughts that argue with reality because I think they motivate me.


Private facilitations

I can facilitate people with fertility issues, who would like to be at peace going through their  story, on a one to one basis using The Work of Byron Katie.
Cost: €50 for one session.
          €200 for 5 sessions.
Sessions last 1 hour 15 mins and can be in person or on the phone or Skype.


Four Media Interviews I did on Infertility and The Work of Byron Katie


1. LMFM Radio Station, Late Lunch with Gerry Kelly, 31st July 2012

The interview is about 20 minutes into the podcast.

2. Newstalk 106FM Radio Station, The Tom Dunne Show, 25th July 2012

3. The Irish Times, Tuesday 24th July 2012

Click here to read the article:

4. Irish Country Magazine, October/November 2014

Click here to read the article: